at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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