But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
