I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Someone shit on the floor
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
