I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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