You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
