so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I pour the whiskey from now on
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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