If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
