he looks like a really good dad on facebook
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
