If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
