We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize