i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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