well you can't waste a boner
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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