so explain again why im purple
no
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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