If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
