he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
should my penis look like a turkey
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
