he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
