Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
