i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
