I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize