I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
