No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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