I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize