Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
