chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
