There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
