We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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