Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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