brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm at about main and main street
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
