I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Who died my cat blue again?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
