So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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