dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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