I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize