i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
