well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize