PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
