Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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