Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
