i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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