good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
