Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
