If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
