toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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