do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
