It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize