it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
