I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
