oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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