May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
