I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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