Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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