She said her name was "party"
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize