Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
