is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
