She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
