Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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