people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
