ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
