she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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