i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
