Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
