Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
