grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
