I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
