Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
