I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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