Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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