doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
