You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
