My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize