i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
