This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize