oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
