i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
