just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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