Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
